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Captain Courage And The Courage Cannon! Don't start vast projects with half vast ideas. |
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The Philosophy
Boy did I learn a lot! Overall, I did fairly good… if I do say so myself but there is definite room for improvement. Basically, I think my planning was completely upside down. Let us summarize my plan:
- Build an Airplane
- Fly a Great Distance
- Look Good
- Please the Crowd
- Achieve Fame and Glory
A simple 5-step plan. Unfortunately, it's upside down. This year I am going to turn it around. As you can probably guess from #5, I intend to win. Seriously. It might seem kind of funny that I want to win and yet am publishing my plans here for all to see. I also want it to be a contest to remember. The more teams that pull out all the stops, the better the show. If you or your team need any help, please drop me a line. And now without further delay...
The Plan
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There were two general approaches to the Flugtag. The first used all of the available weight to build a wing with the largest possible wing area. This was the approach used by Der Fliegen Plastik. The other was to use the lightest possible craft (if indeed a craft was actually used) and fling the unfortunate 'pilot' from a slingshot or catapult like affair. I really didn't like the second method at first, but I think that if done well, it just might be the best possible method. I intent to build a hybrid. I will launch a (somewhat small) craft from a slingshot. Immediately after the last event, I sat down and started doing some math (left). The goal was a flight distance exceeding 16m terminating with a velocity less than 12.5 m/s. Yes, I'm using metric this time! |
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It certainly looked like it was going to be possible. Let's break the plan down
Goal: Please The Crowd
If you ever say the movie Gladiator, you may remember the line from Proximo, "I was not the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom." Yeah, that's going to be me. Only without the sword... and armor... and hungry lions. Aside from that though, that's my plan.
For this, the crowd is going to need a hero. Take Captain America and cross him with Evel Knievel then throw in a little Super Dave Osborne. Give him a cool name like... Captain Courage. He needs some sidekicks like The Courage Commandos. Finally, he needs to be doing something heroic... Say being fired from a cannon! Enter, the Courage Cannon:
I will combine the best of Team Flying Elvis, Team Austin Powers and Team Return of The Kung Fu Dragon. I am going to seed the crowd with chanters. I will have an escort of white jump suited Courage Commandos. I will have the ultimate weapon possessed by all great dare devils in recent history... I will have Fainting Women! This section is all production value. I will win the crowd. I will show them something they have never seen before.
Goal: Look Good
What would a dare devil be without a great costume? Well, aside from naked. I suppose there is something to be said for being shot off a dock while 'fully exposed'. It would make a great story for the grandkids. I plan, however, to have a slightly more substantial get up. By this I mean a gleaming white jump suit. Oh, and a glistening helmet... with a star on it!
This year, the team is going to have real rehearsals before hand. Well beforehand, not Denny's 6 hours earlier. We will be like a well oiled machine. A perfectly synchronized Formula 1 pit crew... only with a cannon instead of a car. This year, I promise that at least half the team will fall into the drink. That's really important. I didn't find out that it was worth extra points last year until after the event. I intent to make up for it this time. If I'm getting wet, I'm taking a few of you with me!
Goal: Fly A Great Distance
While this is technically #2, it really isn't that important. My first plan called for me to fly 16m, not taking a head wind into account that is. Really, it was assuming there wasn't going to be any air resistance at all. In the real world, it's probable that I will not quite reach 16m. The reasons for this include air resistance, head winds and friction in the launch system. That and the fact that I looked at the numbers again and decided that I was completely insane! I've reworked the numbers a bit for safety (see below). I also have a few small drogue 'chutes I will deploy to help me get away from the launch sled. Besides, drogue 'chutes look very slick. Trust me here: The crowd will love this!
Goal: Build an Airplane
As I mentioned above, I decided that sometime while drawing up the original plans, I had completely lost my mind. I've scaled the plans down to a more reasonable level. Here's the idea:
Features:
- It looks really cool. Seriously, this is probably the most important part. As you can see, the outside appears as a cannon, while inside it is more like an extended box with a bungee sling-shot. The outer skin is merely plastic, giving the impression of a solid barrel. It's not like anyone is going to look down the barrel! There are strobe lights along the top and bright stars plastered everywhere. I'm recruiting more artistic friends for the painting.
- Safety. You might not think so, but I take being fired from a cannon very seriously. Even if it is just elastic bands. I've scaled way back from the original idea. That one might well have put me in orbit.
- Convenient. One problem I saw with many of the slingshot cannons was that they were a pain to load on to the dock. Then you had to take it back down again. This is designed to be light and maneuverable. Well, as light and maneuverable as a 20' cannon can possibly be. The best part is, when it's done with, we can just toss it in the water or winch it straight off the deck by crane. Nothing is attached to the deck. No mess, no fuss. This not only helps the show move along, it makes the trip back much easier, too.
- Flight. Okay, the deployable wings aren't going to be incredibly efficient. However, I will be able to fly much further than a standard catapult system, which tends to just fling the pilot. Further, I really think this will beat most conventional craft due to the controlled launch conditions. With a standard launch, you are very dependant on wind conditions and strong pushers. This will work much better. Trust me.
- It looks really cool. I can't stress this enough. This will take the show if I have any say in the matter.
So there you have it, my plan for the 2003 San Francisco Flugtag. I would like to thank everyone who wrote in to tell me how they are looking forward to seeing me this year. Tell all your friends to be there and with any luck, I'll be accepted into this year's contest too!